Please don’t ever get tired of
being a good person with a good
heart. I know it sucks being
taken advantage of and feeling
like it’s better to be cold hearted
but people like you matter and
are so important to the world.


Our world right now can really use a little
more kindness, a little more compassion
and even a little humanity, You and I can
benefit from it too. A little empathy, a little
kindness goes a long way.
A very long way.


I don’t trust words, I trust vibes
People can tell you anything, but
a vibe tells you everything.


If you aim for only wealth,
beauty, fame, and power, you
aim to low. Humility,
gentleness, gratitude, and service
is aiming high.

Dear Dad…

Happy Birthday! From your son Blaine, I know your looking down on me smiling with mom in your arms, You both are healthy, and I hope happy! I know I have not been doing good lately but I’m trying to bounce back whatever life I have here on this lonely planet. I know I’m right now not making you proud, but know this I’m trying, and I’m taking care of Aunty the best I can, Yes I complain and I know you hear it, but I still do it, in a way I’m just like how I remember you were, It’s safe to say that the older I get the more I’m just like you, grouchy yet a good person on the inside, though my face may not seem like it, but we Both always had a soft heart.

Today, is also the day that after a year and a half we finally lay you next to mom, where you should have been all this time, I don’t know if what Annette (sister) said was true, that you wanted to stay in Vegas for 1 year then be next to mom, One would think that how you were so close with Aunty (his sister) that you would have told her this very critical plan, I know you wouldn’t take this with you, and have it left unsaid to someone you were so close to, I can sit here and think nothing but bad thoughts about this 1 year and half situation, but What I wrote is true, this was your wish according to her, and I just feel this was a very important wish that you would have thought about and talked with Aunty before you left us, instead of hearing it and wondering why Dad didn’t tell us, Aunty is always the reasoner she tries to say “oh he didn’t have time to tell me” and no matter what I tell her about my thoughts, she makes me feel like I’m at the wrong…

I just don’t know…

The biggest reason why I have so much anger with her, everything that she done pissed me the fuck off, the other thing was How dare she, not call and tell Aunty (your sister) Herself, why call her sister and have her call us and tell us, that is so Chicken Shit!

How dare she make a private funeral for you, and not invite us, Yes we couldn’t offered to go, Aunty couldn’t go cause of her health BUT at least Invite us, I didn’t even have a proper goodbye, in my mind and heart your still alive to me, You know that I was struggling with depression, and that is why I push people away in my life, and I did that to you as well, I can’t remember how long we have not talked, but I do remember this one day when we did, It was like we never stopped talking, It was our last conversation.

I wish I had come visit you when you started to get ill, I had the money to do just that, I think the main reason why I didn’t was I didn’t want to get the bad vibes from her (sister) and her family. We were never close, you knew that, and I strongly believe that she hated/disliked me from the start, after all I was adopted into the family, Yes we all have the same bloodline, but I feel like I took away the limelight from her, she is the oldest, yet when you and Mom decided to adopt me I took it away just by being the baby, and all the attention was on me.

You probably already know that I won’t be attending your funeral today, I’m sorry for this but it just doesn’t feel right, to me it feels all wrong, Yes your going to be next to Mom, but you should have been there a long time ago.

This is why I’m writing this, to let you know how I’m feeling and what I’m always thinking about.

I Love You Dad! I always have and always will, you thought me to be the man I am today, Yesterday while me and Aunty was driving home we reminisced about you, talking about how grouchy you are, how I’m turning into you, even Aunty agrees that she see’s a lot of you in me, We brought up Kay’s Bentoya and how much you loved that place, how you told Aunty your order all the way from Las Vegas, I brought up every time we went to watch the airplanes take off, we always had to stop and pick up 2 bento’s for me and you, I even mentioned how if the basic bento was sold out and you had to buy the one with Shrimp tempura, you would complain, even though it was just a dollar more.

I miss you Dad, Hug mom for me, and LOVE and HUG on Dixie, please take care of her! and let her know I’m always missing and thinking about her, I ask all 3 of you to visit me, to send me signs, are you? am I missing it? If I am I’m sorry, just don’t do anything spooky ok? cause all 3 of you know that would freak me the Fuck out, and I would panic! Though it would be a good laugh for all of you.

I Love and Miss You Guys!

Sincerely Yours,


laugh with me


Don’t settle.
Don’t finish bad books.
If you don’t like the menu, leave.
If your not on the right path,
get off it.


Sometimes in life
we just need a hug.
No words, No advice
Just a hug
To make you feel better.


Be careful how you think,
Your life is shaped by
your thoughts.


Karma says:
If you focus on hurt,
you will continue to
suffer. If you focus on
the lesson, you will
continue to grow.

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