How I’m feeling about my job,

I have been working as a Logistics driver since May, at first it was very nerve wreaking for me, I was trained on multiple routes, and felt like doing so makes it harder to learn the route that I would be taking over, I think for me it’s the unknown that get’s me nervous and my anxiety up,

That was then, this is now,

I find myself still a bit nervous when I’m giving a delivery that I have not been to yet, but I’m learning how to deal with it, I try to lift myself up, and not worry about it, yes today’s technology has gps and digital maps, but some of the times the delivery goes on military bases, and it makes it difficult when I don’t have a proper address, instead i’m giving a building number, This kind of delivery happened on Friday, but I did find the location and did the delivery,

When I first started I didn’t know how to drive a forklift at all, my manual pallet jack experience were limited due to 3 years of not working, but Now, I drive the forklift like I been doing it for years, still make a few minor mistakes here and there, but I got the hang of it really fast, my pallet jack technique has gotten a lot better over the months,

I find myself trying to sleep at night, I find myself wanting to go to work, strange as it sounds, I look forward to going to work, I feel like the guys that I work with has excepted me into there group, I did have 2 arguments with 1 driver, but once we calmed down we were cool,

Thing with me if I’m approached wrongly, I snap quickly, and He is the same, but again we worked things out, and I know how he is, so I try to keep my cool, and he does as well, I know how to talk to him, before I think we got into it cause we didn’t know each other that well.

I’m still considered a temp to hire, and the company I work for is going to hire me, but I just need to fill the quota of 680hrs then the process will start.

I’m paying off the bills that I neglected over the 3 years, I get paid weekly, it’s a good and bad thing, good thing is that I get paid weekly, but bad it’s only for a week, I feel it would be nice to have a full pay check, once that happens I’ll need to budget my money, knowing that the next check won’t come in for another 2 weeks.

Let’s see what else has been going on, I have been making purchases for things I want, recently go a new phone, cause my old phone would randomly turn off when it gets hot,

My PS4 is broken, it won’t turn on anymore, so gaming is on hold, I’m debating rather I should replace it or switch to an Xbox S, still undecided, thing makes it harder is that if I go the Sony route it’s pricey cause the PS4’s price is high due to the shortage of the PS5, which sucks in my opinion,

Since I can’t play my video editing has stopped as well, I loved creating videos, but if I can’t create my content, well there is no videos to produce.

There is a lot of things on my mind on what I should get, or get into, Thought about getting a telescope and do some star gazing, or been thinking of getting a bike and riding around on the weekends, or even riding to work with it.

Thing’s are up in the air right now,

I still fight with depression and anxiety, with this job I got medical, and have seen my Dr, about health problems, and he mentioned he wants me to talk to someone and open up about it, with me I keep it locked in, and it rarely comes up, I think it would be good to talk about it, but only time will tell on when, He wants this current health concern to be solved before this happens.

Thank you for reading,

Also for my new followers I appreciate the follows, and or comments, I would love to see more comments, but it is what it is.


About Blaine Tamura
just someone drifting in the wind in Hawaii

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